Alexandra’s Project, written and directed by Rolf de Heer

Alexandra’s Project, written and directed by Rolf de Heer

A different version of this note and thoughts on other books are available at:

-              https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEVa4_CsRStSBBDo4uJWT8BSWtTTn0N1E  and   http://realini.blogspot.ro/

Alexandra’s Project is an interesting independent film.

Produced and filmed in Australia.

It builds up tension in an unexpected manner.

But I think it goes over the top.

As a man, I am biased and probably do not see the woman’s point very well.

Nevertheless, I think Alexandra’s Project is more than exaggerated.

Steve is married to Alexandra.

As he says at one point:

-          I didn’t think this is the perfect marriage, but we were doing OK.

-          Well, he is very wrong on that one

We can see early on that Steve is somewhat unlikeable.

It is his birthday and there is talk of a surprise.

At work there are some annoyances.

Finally, the man comes home.

Everything is dark and the audience may expect the usual crowd coming out with:

-          Surprise, surprise!

-          Happy birthday to you!

But there is no such thing.

And the mystery is not solved.

A wrapped object with happy birthday is waiting.

And on the tape that is inside we have the expected wishes.

Only this is the end of the usual, normal behavior.

Alexandra starts complaining about Steve.

And one could then think of the master and ultimate expert on marriages, the one who can tell within minutes if a couple would separate.

There is a classic that anyone in a relationship should study:

-          The Seven Principles of Making  Marriage Work by John Gottman

And it appears that Steve is to blame for all the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as identified by John Gottman:

1.       Contempt

2.       Criticism

3.       Defensiveness

4.       Stonewalling

The accusations of the spouse are serious and range from indifference to what would be called today harassment or outright abuse, probably even rape.

The man has abusive language, places fingers inside his wife all the time and in spite of her protestations.

He calls her Alex and this is another thing she hates- well, she hates everything he does actually- because her name is Alexandra, not Alex.

Having established that Steve might well be a chauvinist pig or worse, I still feel that Alexandra went too far.

Maybe revenge, payback and/or closure are justified and it is only the psychological attack that she had to endure.

Notwithstanding all that and not preaching a Buddhist compassion, I still say that she could have taken Her Project a few steps lower.

Maybe I am wrong.