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What Comes Next
What Comes Next
Some decades
ago, the stars have been almost perfectly aligned for yours truly, in that
there has been a revolution and furthermore, the under signed has had every
reason to be proud for, fearful as he had been, he managed to get some courage
and go down to the roman Square, to face the special units of the Securitate no
less and thus be one of the few Real heroes – not one of the tens of thousands
that have been fabricated to enjoy the financial, social and other fake
benefits, since he has never claimed the paperwork and the official status,
albeit he has regretted it at times, maybe even now –
After that
big change – not big enough for many, including yours truly, who feels that
much more should have been demolished after a true revolution, and not just a
change of one dictator with another communist, of a milder faith – there comes
the meeting of the Beauty Queen and incredibly, she becomes intimate with and
the girlfriend of a man that on some measures could not dream of such a partner
– granted, on some others, the supposed dream Wonder woman was just the winner
of a pageant in which only another what, twenty, maybe fifty girls participated
and that is very relative and much more controversial these days, and besides,
her future actions, the marriage to a loathsome, fat, older Mafioso, that had
stolen from women and children – well, not exactly waiting for them in the
street, to give a kick in the head and then run with the purse for the money
for candy, but taking huge sums from the state budget and thus indirectly
depriving pensioners, kids of higher income – do not exactly paint the beauty
as a woman with ethics and a moral standing, which rather makes her ugly, if
only on the inside.
Then, as if
to place all the aces in the hand of this ungrateful bastard, he has the chance
to be close to a friend – if he really was one I have been debating in some of
this scribbling for some time and the jury is still out on this one, though it is
very likely that we have just been mates, I sort of pimped out for him at
times, he paid the bills for outings that have included the grandiose at the
time, and still quite prestigious now Le club, but we have not been all that
close and he may have been had some contempt for me at times, seeing as he is one
of the richest five maybe and he had been showing signs of arrogance, aptitude
and skills for quite a long time – with a man that controls one of the biggest
companies of the land these days and so the under signed has had the chance to
be in a revolution, help change the regime, then perhaps to marry the most resplendent
beauty to be found around here and get together with one of the richest fellows
up there in the top 200 Forbes, very likely among the top ten now…
And what
did I do with all these magic cards…waste them to be called a shit, loser, lazy
bum and so much more by a spouse that I call the same and quite often cannot
stand, but then I still wait for Godot or Saint Francis of Assisi or some other
miracle to take place to extract me from this mess, where I spend hours every
day with macaws that quite often get me enraged to the point where I want to
shoot them – well, at least Balzac may have that destiny if he does not shut
his fucking trap – and apart from the new ritual of running near the Mogosoaia
lake, near the fantastic palace – if not huge, anyway going back to 1702 –
among trees and in a resplendent setting, there is no going out and the place is
quite often disgusting…right now, there is the dog of these motherfuckers,
perhaps sixty, seventy years old, just moved in this gated community of pretentious
fools and they have an animal that I hate.
It is actually
not the stupid beast, but the goddamn owners that treat him and the rest of the
neighbors to hours of barking, because they do not give a shit about anybody
except their own pathetic selves…to add insult to injury, they have started
works at the house where they had moved in some months ago – I guess – and they
involve machinery, a jackhammer drilling in the courtyard and through my brains,
on the weekend too, and to make it plain that these idiots are just the sum of
the earth, they allowed the animal to come out and continue with his endless
howls and barks, just as the jackhammer took a brake…
I mean, why
not have the whole paraphernalia, the whole torture, since they are psychopaths,
they ca do it – a psychopath is someone who feels nothing, no empathy, indeed
some of the figures here are just the epitome, paradigm or definition of the psychopathic
behavior, with their barking dogs, children that scream as if there is no tomorrow
and no rules, just as if this is a huge island from The lord of the Flies…
And this is
not unique, if the place is beating some records in the limits they break, of
insolence, abuse, screaming and barking all in one limited area, still, we can
see this ghastly phenomenon ion other places…as I was running earlier today, I noticed
that the glass at the lightening in the park has been broken in many places and
I even stopped looking to see how many, to avoid getting depressed and this
place has another despicable, contemptible feature…when they water the lawns,
the lights throughout the park have to be kept on, in the middle of the day,
first of all if they do not care, just like the aforementioned and their kids
and dogs, they only look at their own benefit and the one in charge at this
place is just another idiot who is useless and has not directed a technician to
disconnect the 2 different sets of circuits so that they use the sprinklers
separate from the hundreds of lights – we are not talking a few light bulbs
here, for this is an area of many hectares and multiple lights…
Evidently,
the need to use positive psychology or/and stoic precepts is paramount here and
one has to enforce what they preach, remembering that ‘there is nothing either
good or bad, but thinking makes it so’ – Hamlet – or ‘the mind is its own
place, it can make heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven’ – and then ‘it is
not what happens, but what you make of what happens’ that counts and there are
many elements that would indicate an accomplished, well lived life – if not in
the sick mind of my spouse – for after working in tourism – I was just a bloody
useless guide, according to the same, aforementioned source – I saved some
money – so it is good to be a miser, spend thrift bastard after all – and invested
in the company that had provided quite a decent, if not opulent existence,
until things got more complicated and then loans had to be perfected and
insults were intensified – the same aristocratic, self-indulgent, arrogant,
disdainful, ungrateful and beneficiary of so much of what this stupid ass had
done aka Despicable Me.
It is tempting
to say fuck all and then take the luggage and go out, after all, there are not
just moments and isolated in time and space when I say that the birds that are
sometimes treated as my boys or babies, do in fact annoy me to high heaven and
then I cannot live all my life trapped by them and attached to a woman that
loathes and hates me and then I reciprocate the feelings…or can I, seeing as
this is hedonic adaptation and the blessed or cursed habit creating rituals…