The Queen,
Episode 8, ‘Souvenirs, Novelties, Party Tricks…Try This One, This Will Make You
Very Popular’…from Top Secret http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/unique-in-world.html?q=unique+in+the+world
Perhaps I
never recovered from the shock of hearing that I am in the car with the most
beautiful woman in the realm, The Queen of Beauty, officially registered as
that – with the benefits and the obligations, the latter part being something I
tried to take on, and getting involved in the legal shenanigans was wrong on
some fronts, it involved paying some bills, encouraging the view that I am a
sort of member of the support team, for quite a while the only one, and then
leading , or helping prompting one crisis where she acts as if I am the humble
assistant, when calling the Bulgarian holder of the Beauty Pageant rights to
let him know she is available to fuck (in my perverse mind of that moment) and
then getting slapped for the offense (it is so comforting to know nobody is
reading this really, and hence there are no implications over this, but just in
case there is a thought out there, let me repeat that all similarities between
personages here and real persons are purely coincidental or whatever the legalese
is over fiction and no connection with reality) eventually it is one of the
reasons for the final parting and something to both sooth (it was not all
inexplicable and undeserved in other words) and lament over, how could I be
such a goddamn idiot and blow it all to smithereens with my foolishness…
It seems as
a high point, something to brag about, which may be subconsciously the point of
all this, no matter how small the audience, non-extant really, there is the
notion that somebody out there might find about what a great, enticing chap I
have been (chump would be one other word for it) when even the royalty has
wanted to consort with me, if briefly and who knows to what end, now this is
another purpose of all this scribbling, to see if a significance, some lost
meaning does not jump up from the pages…if you are here, and see sense, please
share it so that I have my own epiphany, find that The Man Upstairs really
wanted me to launch this young lady on her path and let us say that her public,
if there is one, has to thank me for a small contribution I would have made to
her accomplished performances, if any
The
downside of the zenith reached with this good looking princess is that once the
peak of the mountain is reached, then it is all downhill and what is there to
compare with the Reine – the antidote for the anticlimax of reaching a peak and
the finding the aftermath daunting, maybe even adverse could be found in the
works of Tal Ben-Shahar http://realini.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-pursuit-of-perfect-by-tal-ben-shahar.html who insists that we have to enjoy
the ride on the mountain and not concentrate on the ‘ultimate goal’ – he
mentions the example of the one who is focused on reaching a top position and
he endures with the idea that after some time, reward is coming (yes, there is
much to say from Delayed Gratification and the Marshmallow Experiment) and then
we see the fellow advancing gradually, until the age when somebody steps into
the office and says it is time to retire and the revelation is that he kept struggling
to the limit where it has all been just an endurance game…
Tal Ben-Shahar
offers the hamburger models for the various errors we commit, from the
nihilists who care nothing about present or future, to the extreme hedonists,
who would rather have the most intense joy now, regardless of the post prandial
effects of overstuffing too much on the plate, and we have to find the
Aristotelian Golden Mean http://realini.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-golden-platinum-rules-and-crown.html on each side of virtue, you have
vice, and in this particular case, to concentrate too much on an elusive goal
for sixty years in the future is just as wrong as not caring what tomorrow
brings
The peak
reached then is in sharp contrast with the bottom of the sea – in some
interpretation of the spouse, who affirms with conviction that I am a good for
nothing leach, lazy bastard, parasite, mad man and much more – where I lay now,
as guardian of the geese, with no friends, though one is resurrected in some
form, after quarrelling last year, when I disagreed with his laxitude towards a
party I hate (which in the meantime has formed an alliance with the one I
support and they govern together now) now we are talking again and maybe we reestablish
as in Casablanca http://realini.blogspot.com/2017/04/casablanca-with-humphrey-bogart-and.html the ‘beginning of a new (old) friendship’
Looked at
from the other, let us say opposite side, I was just an accident, somebody who
had to be there in the beginning of the education process, stumbled on and then
maybe used for a while, on the way to the top – Stumbling On Happiness is a
classic of psychology by Harvard Professor Daniel Gilbert http://realini.blogspot.com/2013/06/stumbling-on-happiness-by-david-gilbert.html and it demonstrates how we are not
happy with the things we think will make us so, there are a number of Myths,
one would be the California or Pacific Island move myth, the notion that if we
were to move to one of those blessed places, we would be so happy, and instead,
we suffer from the phenomenon called Hedonic Adaptation
She would remember
the name, for it is so peculiar, the question might be what does she associate
it with, were it to be said in front of her – indeed, one later incident could
have stigmatized the bearer forever, since I think I remember one would be
actress, aspiring probably at the time, telling me of a scene happening at the
theater, between rehearsals, where this other student in acting tells a story
with me as protagonist and villain: she had had sex with me, following a trip
to Snagov, on the tiny, two-people boat to the island where some legends would
have the source for the Dracula myth, Vlad Tepes, buried and then after the
mesmerizing trip into a wondrous landscape, she performed felatio and I engaged
in cunilingus, so some days or weeks after this, she wants me to take her to
this spot near Rossetti, then to some other and on and on, looking for the
lover, or man she wanted and could not find, until it got very late and we
stopped in the parking lot (then there was one, now it is a tramway line there)
and I said this is the end of the journey for me, unless we have the ‘friends
with benefits’ treatment, for I had worked as her driver and provider of
logistics, Audi and guard (as in the German shepherd was on board, but then he
always was) and now she should show her appreciation…
Alternatively,
maybe not, but then I was too tired to move, if I did not get a ‘massage with
happy ending’ – this is just a manner of speaking, for though the role of
massage and just plain touching is key, studies have shown that we need this,
indeed, it is mentioned in the Tal Ben-Shahar courses at Harvard, I have always
refused when possible, the ads that ask for money for this type of interaction,
and opt for the sex when available, forget the massage happy finale – my share
of the benefits, then I will no longer provide transportation and just jump in
my bed…
http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/realini-in-newsweek-participant-in.html
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