joi, 10 noiembrie 2022

Permaflow 23 The Mind is its own place; it can make heaven out of hell and hell out of heaven -


Permaflow 23 The Mind is its own place; it can make heaven out of hell and hell out of heaven



A time must come when an analysis, or at least some thought must be given to the past and the mistakes made – albeit there is this book which has a magnanimous title Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me and we all agree with that – trying to get some closure, after penitence and saying sorry, but first one needs to admit to it, and if retiring to a monastery for self-laceration is not the answer, still, remorse and repentance would be required…


For those who are religious, they have this notion, nay, strong belief that they will face their Maker, with Peter coming first with the keys at the gates of paradise to let you in or reject you – by the way, how does it work, are you vetted before arriving at the gates, or this is the place of the big miracle, the answer to a life of sin or munificence, perhaps a combination of the two and other shenanigans and triumphs….

Purgatory does not exists in the bible, does it, it was invented by Dante for artistic purposes, or is it a scholar’s idea that there should be a buffer zone, no man’s land where they consider your application before they give you asylum or they send you to the hot place, the very hot area where the jokes go like this


I forgot which character, maybe it was Ceausescu, he was clearly the main figure in many of the blagues, indeed, in most of them, notwithstanding the fact that his acolytes, the militia and others would star in some vignettes, who visits heaven and hell and in the lower part, he is shown a big vat with smelly substance, which I think was shit, it must have been, and more besides, because we are talking hell, right

And the local tyrant is considering his moves – mind you, he was as stupid as Trump, though in both cases, there is something to say for humans who hold such atrocious views, have zero Emotional Intelligence, can recommend drinking disinfectant to cure a pandemic and make other such absurd, inept, outrageous pronouncements, psychopaths that feel nothing, who have little knowledge if any, and still reach the top.


And the local fool thinks about that shit and ordure that the people stay in, down there in hell and thinks that well, it smelled bad, it was awful actually, but maybe it is not such a bad experience, and the folks were standing and maybe smoking some cigarettes, no torture applied to them, and then shit was the medium of the commies, I do not know what he was thinking about and obviously forgot the joke altogether, expect for the punch line:

Ready now boys, head under now


In other words, it seems like he was also stupid enough to pick this medium, thinking it will be all right to stand in shit, only he was seeing the pause, the five minute break, and then they are required to immerse in shit and eat it, surely, so the joke was on him, somehow the idea of the dictator sinking in feces was very satisfying.

Besides, it became a leif motif and used as a catch phrase, to the effect of ‘ok, so it has been fine so far, but now it is time to end the break and sink in shit’, even if it was not said, it was just the ‘break is over, heads down’ aka ‘Capul la fund’


When looking back, a balance would be needed, to follow the Aristotelian rule, that virtue has vice on both sides, courage would have cowardice and recklessness on the flanks, and to damn myself for the past would be maybe just as wrong as to say all that happened is a prove of heroism, immense talent and near perfection.

Then things are relative, if I have been wrong in my relationship with Sherika – and I am sure I was – then there is the bond we have had, we cannot say it would have been better had we not met each other – or maybe I am just projecting this, hoping it is true and it is not – and the good things we have had do not excuse the shortcomings, the horror of the abortion, but there is the upside, we have had sunny days…


This is biased and one sided, one should ask her how she feels about it, maybe she wishes she had never met me, and the abortion was her pain, trauma, I was there, but just as a witness, not affected in the least in my body, and I must admit that in psyche, I had probably been relieved that this is going to be over soon..

It was illegal to have an abortion in the commie days and the terror that was involved is portrayed in the fabulous, one of the best 100 movies ever made 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days helmed by the marvelous Cristian Mungiu – I had tried to have a photo with him and Corneliu Porumboiu (another magician director) while they were conversing at the Lycee Francais, at the end of the year party, perhaps some five years ago, where my daughter celebrated with her colleagues and the younger children of these two maestros, but my souse said I should mind my own business and let the men enjoy their afternoon, without interference from their public…I still think they may have been a bit pleased to see that they have an admirer at this fiesta, where most of the French and the locals did not know who they are…well, a few clearly did, there would be those who have to see them at parents gatherings and such, but still, someone who wanted a photo as a sign of appreciation might have not been such an awful thing


Abortion meant in many, if not circumstances resorting to someone who was not qualified – doctors had a good thing going back then, when one would bribe to get medical care, and I am not saying this, as an insult, after all my sister is a medical doctor, though in the States, not here, this was the system, corrupt from top to bottom – and using something like a metal bar to just provoke the abortion, in very dangerous circumstances

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