luni, 14 noiembrie 2022

Queen of Beauty, 3 Serenity Now


Queen of Beauty, 3 Serenity Now



The urge to write about the Queen of Beauty affair is at times puzzling, why try to put down what happened again, and again…is this the hope that some more details would emerge from the corners of the mind, when the opposite is more likely, perhaps it is the fear that some of the most wondrous days would disappear, without this constant rehearsal, or more likely, the feeling that some deeper understanding would be obtained, or at the very least, there would be Serenity now, to quote George Constanza’s father!


While the good looking – why not use stunning, ravishing or resplendent – woman was talking to Daryl Van Horn, I must have said a few words, no matter how banal, and the significance or it they were extant escapes me, but the result was that she moved away and I was getting ready to maybe get Daryl out of the car for a few minutes – or maybe I did, come to explore again that corner of memory – only after a few minutes or instantly I realized that this is a missed opportunity, for while most of the time I would try and enter a conversation – with the common ‘can we talk’, which does not have the nuances here, so that I could not use may instead of can – this time, we have had a female opening communication…

Maybe there was an omen there, but this is just bulshit speculation, it can even annoy me at times, never mind an unfortunate reader, for it is often like trying to extract some juice form an orange or some other fruit that has been abandoned for what, thirty three years, and evidently there is nothing left there…or is this different, it can be taken into the category pf reminiscing, positive psychology, in particular the hideous kinky The How of Happiness by terrific Sonja Lyubomirsky recommends that we bring happiness in the present, by looking at morsels that have brought wellbeing in times past, such as this Beauty Queen charade


Why did I hesitate to plunge ahead, when a gorgeous stranger was talking to adjectival Daryl would be a question answered by the evangelicals with it was the hand of God (but hen so said Maradona about breaking the rules and scoring a goal with his hand) and other believers in the supernatural would also say this was the universe, the Man Upstairs warning, trying to spare me the pain to come…

What about the joy then, for there is much to thank there, and let us say gratitude now (like Frank Constanza in Seinfeld, but instead of Serenity Now, count eh blsessings0 and also think like Queen in ‘One year of love is better than a lifetime without’ and albeit there was no full year, if we count, maybe we can add up one half in all, and even that is hazy, but the intensity, the thrill of the car ride into Oltenia, and then later, through the snow storm (was it a snow storm, or is this just a metaphor, memory using stylistic images, it was a difficult journey with the most beautiful [allegedly] girl in the realm alongside and thus it often looked as if we are making our way in a troika, through the massive Siberian snows – incidentally, when she would prepare for the Miss Universe contest in Las Vegas, I would concoct some opening lines with ‘I was born in a cold winter, near the Soviet border’ for her opening on the stage…come to think of it, I wonder, has she used those?


It was a wrong choice to try and involve myself so much in her professional life, and try to get her back with Doina Chichina or whatever the fuck her name was, lawyers- however, with that side, her mother would allow me to pay for the consolations, furious and mad with me as  she would be at that point, she saw no moral hazard in accepting a financial contribution from, me however indirectly, I mean I was not cashing in for her, but for her miraculous daughter, who would ump me…wait here, I need to go and cry

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