vineri, 11 noiembrie 2022

Queen of Beauty, 1 -


Queen of Beauty, 1



She was one of the most ‘important’ people that I have met, indeed, she is, for she is still alive and furthermore, has again married along the ciocoii noi lines, somebody who is a ‘dignitary’, after her first marriage, some decades back, which tied her with a Confidence Man – this the title of a recent book on Trump, by a celebrated reporter, who looked at the multiple confidence tricks he played on tens of millions, and it is appropriate to use it here, since the first husband was a fellow that would be convicted and sent to jail for I guess it was embezzlement, taking money from the public and maybe the private purse.


The debut of these lines announce grievances, frustrations, humiliations, jealousy and a panoply of such negative emotions and this is not good on quite a few fronts, for I am reading through 50 Psychology Classics again, and this morning the chapter on the co-founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, brought back memories of the mistake we make in thinking if we vent negative thoughts, it is better, studies show it is not and they can even lead to heart attacks, and it is also indicated we concentrate on our strengths and do not meddle with our weaknesses, character strengths, as opposed to talents, can be built and we can find and test them at the sites where Seligman offers his valuable, life-changing advice

Therefore, remind me to concentrate on the positive – albeit this is something I just realized, that I have next to no feedback from the written notes on the blog, whereas the YouTube channel is now rich in reactions, mostly dislikes and few likes, but that is some change…lack of feedback might affect the Flow experience which could be envisaged in this exercise and the conditions for Being in the Zone are challenges match skills, clear goals, constant, instant feedback, being in control, loss of ego, concentration, time becomes relative, we do this for pleasure, it is an autotelic experience


This is an interesting thought, to try and look at the moves, the events to be described, recalled, using the lens of some of the classics, and the meeting of the Queen of Beauty, let me call her Halcyon for now – the definition of the word being somewhat appropriate – ‘reflecting times of Wine and Roses’ – and think of a mot frequently used by Harvard Professor of positive psychology Tal Ben-Shahar, who says ‘Words Create Worlds, he also uses ‘learn to fail, or fail to learn, giving the example of Edison, Be a merit finder, not a fault finder, make stumbling blocks into stepping stones’ and much more you can find his lectures on the net

When we first met, it must have been Thin Slicing in action, at least on my part, as explained in the classic Blink – The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by the Magister Ludi Malcolm Gladwell albeit it was a late reaction that took me to the tickets agency, to follow in the footsteps of Halcyon, and I did not talk to her on the spot.


This was surely because of the troubles I had had, which had just been explained in the office of the lawyer, who had told me that I am likely to lose the money given to this con artist, who would give me back the dollars ( a couple of thousand maybe) but at the official rate of exchange, which in practice would mean losing most of it, but I would add to this explanation, the fact that beautiful as she clearly was, maybe there is something else there, the intuition that it would eventually not work, maybe the Gift of Fear which we have – that is the title of another classic, in which we find how we are saved from deadly situations by this alert, the Gift of Fear that we all have, a book to read, surely…

Why did it take a little more than a few seconds to see that this is a landmark, the woman talking to my dog is resplendent and meant to cause a furor, to take me aback and nearly kill me, albeit indirectly, I would contemplate suicide, and this could not be attributed to her, she would not say kill yourself, and I could have been suicidal anyway, it is just that the challenges of being aside this Queen of Beauty would become too much.


This going way ahead, but it is just trying to ‘analyze’ the near death experience from this moment in 2022, with the hindsight gained in the meantime, handicapped also by memory loss, and things which have been deleted as a defense mechanism – I have read somewhere that we have a sort of amnesia which is trying to take care of our mental health – because this closeness would change my life…

Yes, we could also argue than any encounter has an impact, the thought that some affect up to 1,000 people comes to mind, from one of the good psychology books, which explains how the writer has an influence on the mother of his son’s friend, if not a huge effect, there is this research that has proved that we are very much shaped by the friends we have, the people we spend most our time with, so if it had not been for this Beauty Queen, then it would have been another ‘hideous kinky’ character and medicine would be taken to quote from Little Big Man


It might be distressing or alternatively, amusing to think what Halcyon thinks of those months, at the beginning of the nineties, when she remembers the Miss Universe Pageant in the US, meeting briefly with the rich and famous, Jack Nicholson, she has a photo with him, the glamor, effervesce, dazzling Brave New World, her passing the exam for the Acting University, eventually, after the second try, moving to the capital, and maybe a couple of her lovers that she had while studying for her acting career, but very little, or anything would come to mind regarding this fellow, who keeps looking back on the same period, where she is clearly the highlight, the Phenomenon, apparition that would affect and change Everything…yes, if someone asks her specifically, using my name, Realini, which is so odd that you cannot confuse among some fellas, and ask the way you do which Mihai do you mean, she would say, oh, I remember that guy, and maybe add something like we had a trip in a snow storm, or mother was furious with him, maybe he had that cute dog, what was his name, taken from…Jack Nicholson’s character in a movie…what was the name of that?

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